Due to the weather being pretty warm and humid last Sunday, my wife and I decided to go for a swim.( To be brutally honest, all we did was soak.) On past occasions that these soakings occurred, we always got to talking about our future and also our financial plans and goals and this time was no different.
Sometimes, we would disagree and more often than not, irritation would get the better of us. Thankfully this time, this was not the case and I found this discussion to be extremely insightful. The main topic revolved around what we valued more and what we valued less. I found that we had very, I repeat very different views on money and material items. I realized that the reason why I prefer to save and invest is because I value money and freedom high above any material items I could purchase.
That being the case, why would any normal person want to trade something he/she loves more for something he/she loves less. I would not want to trade money to buy new clothes but I would trade money to invest to earn more money to give myself financial freedom.
My wife on the other hand stated that she would want to work till the normal retirement age of 65 as she wants to be able to continue buying anything she wants....which is practically everything. I felt that is was fair as she would be trading something she loves less(money) for something she loves more (bags, shoes, clothes..and the list goes on..)
In the end, soaked and wrinkled like raisins soaked in rum, we came to a compromise which would invlove 2 step.The 1st step was that we would, together, work towards reaching an investment portfolio value which would give us enough passive income to cover all our basic needs. This would include stuff that we could not live without like utility, mobile phone charges, food and stuff like that.
The 2nd step would proceed after we have achieved step one. It would be that whatever else we earned after step one would be used to do whatever we wanted, or more likely, whatever she wanted. The 1st priority will no longer be to save but to spend. Although this goes heavily against my nature, I felt that it was only right since she went along with me for part one.
That said, the important thing was to have no more debts and enough investment income to last till the end.
What kinds of compromise have you made with your spouse or even yourself? Are you happy with the compromise? We must always seek balance and try to provide happiness for our significant other. If one party is not happy in a relationship, it will be extremely hard for it to blossom.
As always, save more, spend less and invest wisely.
P.
Hi RetireSG,
ReplyDeleteIt is very nice to read your post which deals with the personal side of personal finance which I feel is often overlooked in many blogs.
Me and my wife actually both see ourselves working till 65 and maybe even after. The difference between us is she doesn't mind needing to work while I definitely want to be choosing to work.
Our compromise is coming up with a budget which we have both agreed on based on our desired lifestyle when we are 55. As long as our total spending is within the budgeted limit we are both happy. I find myself happy to spend less and save more so she can spend more and save less. This makes her very happy and gives her security as well (that i am not fooling around). LOL!
Anyways. Would be very interesting to hear from others too.
Hi, glad I could provide something different.. even if it's just a little. Your wife is really a lucky woman.. but it's interesting to note that both of you don't mind working till the normal retirement age. Normally one will prefer freedom.. =)
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