Financial Compromise = Long Lasting Happiness

Due to the weather being pretty warm and humid last Sunday, my wife and I decided to go for a swim.( To be brutally honest, all we did was soak.) On past occasions that these soakings occurred, we always  got to talking about our future and also our financial plans and goals and this time was no different.

Sometimes, we would disagree and more often than not, irritation would get the better of us. Thankfully this time, this was not the case and I found this discussion to be extremely insightful. The main topic revolved around what we valued more and what we valued less. I found that we had very, I repeat very different views on money and material items. I realized that the reason why I prefer to save and invest is because I value money and freedom high above any material items I could purchase.

That being the case, why would any normal person want to trade something he/she loves more for something he/she loves less. I would not want to trade money to buy new clothes but I would trade money to invest to earn more money to give myself financial freedom.

My wife on the other hand stated that she would want to work till the normal retirement age of 65 as she wants to be able to continue buying anything she wants....which is practically everything. I felt that is was fair as she would be trading something she loves less(money)   for something she loves more (bags, shoes, clothes..and the list goes on..)

In the end, soaked and wrinkled like raisins soaked in rum, we came to a compromise which would invlove 2 step.The 1st step was that we would, together, work towards reaching an investment portfolio value which would give us enough passive income to cover all our basic needs. This would include stuff that we could not live without like utility, mobile phone charges, food and stuff like that.

The 2nd step would proceed after we have achieved step one. It would be that whatever else we earned after step one would be used to do whatever we wanted, or more likely, whatever she wanted. The 1st priority will no longer be to save but to spend. Although this goes heavily against my nature, I felt that it was only right since she went along with me for part one.

That said, the important thing was to have no more debts and enough investment income to last till the end.

What kinds of compromise have you made with your spouse or even yourself? Are you happy with the compromise? We must always seek balance and try to provide happiness for our significant other. If one party is not happy in a relationship, it will be extremely hard for it to blossom.

As always, save more, spend less and invest wisely.
P.

Compromising on differing financial and retirement goals in a relationship

Being married has taught me several things in life. To be patient, go give and seek nothing in return, to always try to find a compromise and most importantly, to always have to work and put in effort into something or someone that means everything to you.

Firstly, i would like to say that like many other couples out there, my relationship consists of a spender (A.K.A the wife) and a saver, me. More often than not, especially after reading books and blogs on being frugal, i would start preaching about the importance of being frugal to my wife, C. Which almost always leads to 3 different scenarios. A hardly convincing agreement, a roll of her eyes plus sneer combo and the worst... the I don't agree to this, we should spend what we earn as a reward conversation.

Through the years i have known her, i have learned to compromise and come up with tweaks to my obsessive saving habits so as to integrate her obsessive spending habits ( 100 Pairs of shoes and counting.."'Retail Therapy" she calls it... ) into my life. One of the very effective methods was the use of the bad mood fund or the B.M.F in short. I can't remember where i read this from but thank you whoever blogged about this.

What is this bad mood fund you might ask? Well, its a simple concept whereby we set aside a sum of money every month and deposit it into a separate savings account. It is left there to accumulate till THAT WOMAN my loving wife feels like spending it -  bad mood or not. This way, she does not feel that she is being restricted or bounded.

I feel that it is extremely important to communicate with your other half to get a feel of their views on both your financial and daily lives. Find out what they think of your views of financial planning and retirement while in turn finding out theirs.

The key is to be comfortable talking to each other about money as it can be an extremely touchy subject. Once you have laid out everything on the table, you can then decide how best to work things out and compromise so that everyone is happy.

I wish you all the best in your financial and daily lives with your loved one/s.

As Always.. Save more, spend less and invest wisely
P.