Financial Compromise = Long Lasting Happiness

Due to the weather being pretty warm and humid last Sunday, my wife and I decided to go for a swim.( To be brutally honest, all we did was soak.) On past occasions that these soakings occurred, we always  got to talking about our future and also our financial plans and goals and this time was no different.

Sometimes, we would disagree and more often than not, irritation would get the better of us. Thankfully this time, this was not the case and I found this discussion to be extremely insightful. The main topic revolved around what we valued more and what we valued less. I found that we had very, I repeat very different views on money and material items. I realized that the reason why I prefer to save and invest is because I value money and freedom high above any material items I could purchase.

That being the case, why would any normal person want to trade something he/she loves more for something he/she loves less. I would not want to trade money to buy new clothes but I would trade money to invest to earn more money to give myself financial freedom.

My wife on the other hand stated that she would want to work till the normal retirement age of 65 as she wants to be able to continue buying anything she wants....which is practically everything. I felt that is was fair as she would be trading something she loves less(money)   for something she loves more (bags, shoes, clothes..and the list goes on..)

In the end, soaked and wrinkled like raisins soaked in rum, we came to a compromise which would invlove 2 step.The 1st step was that we would, together, work towards reaching an investment portfolio value which would give us enough passive income to cover all our basic needs. This would include stuff that we could not live without like utility, mobile phone charges, food and stuff like that.

The 2nd step would proceed after we have achieved step one. It would be that whatever else we earned after step one would be used to do whatever we wanted, or more likely, whatever she wanted. The 1st priority will no longer be to save but to spend. Although this goes heavily against my nature, I felt that it was only right since she went along with me for part one.

That said, the important thing was to have no more debts and enough investment income to last till the end.

What kinds of compromise have you made with your spouse or even yourself? Are you happy with the compromise? We must always seek balance and try to provide happiness for our significant other. If one party is not happy in a relationship, it will be extremely hard for it to blossom.

As always, save more, spend less and invest wisely.
P.

My Fears Related to Early Retirement

I have often wondered how would people around me feel or perceive me should I tell them that I will be retired before the age of 40. Most would just assume that I either struck the lottery, inherited a massive amount of wealth or that I command a massive paycheck. All these are not true. Early retirement, for me is gained by saving hard, cutting the amount of money I spend and also taking the effort and time to find the correct stocks and bonds to purchase.

I also have this fear that should I retire early, especially in Singapore, many would see me and those like me as lazy. Questions would start flooding in, from both relatives and friends. "Why don't you continue working to earn more money?". " Why are you doing non constructive stuff". "Why are you no longer a productive member of the society?" .... So many whys. Well, @!$!@4 you that's why. Just kidding.

I seek early retirement because I do not want to work the best part of my life away. There is only a finite amount of things you need to purchase in life. I want to live, do the things I want to do while I am able. I want to be able to travel without fear of work piling up while I'm away. I want to be able to have a 2 hour lunch followed by a 1 hour stroll and not a 1 hour lunch. I want to be able to take the lessons and courses I have been wanting to take but have no time for. French, bike, diving and powerboat. All these things and many more. You get my drift.

Working will usually drain you of your energy, and at the end of the day, all you want to do is laze on the couch and watch some TV. Is that how you want to live you life till you are 65? I damn well do not.

Therefore, I have come to a conclusion. I will only care what the people directly affected by my early retirement think - A.K.A. My wife and future children. I feel that as long as we are happy, and my wife and I are able to provide for all our and future children's needs, other people can say anything they want and not mean a thing to me.

You know yourself best. If you have set an intended course, do not let anyone sway you from it. Many will sway you out of jealousy. Do not be brought down by their petty remarks. As long as you and your family are happy and contented, nothing else really matters.

Phwoar..really needed to let that out because it has been bugging me for quite some time. Sorry for the rant.

Anyway, as always, Save more, Spend Less and Invest Wisely.
P.

Dealing with Early Retirement Obsession

There will come a point, no doubt, in every early retirement preppers journey where he/she will become extremely obsessed. (At least i hope that its not just me.)

You will start counting every day and dollar you have to retirement. You will search for every book and blog for every single detail which increases your chance of early retirement. And if you are like me, you will tweak and tweak your early retirement spreadsheet several times a day before you feel at ease. Don't judge me, you will get to this point if you want early retirement bad enough.

The key point is to realize that this is merely a stage that you have to go through and that these are just the means and not the ends of your goal. I have to admit that i am still at this stage, although i feel that I'm exiting it for the next soon.

For those of you who are beginning this stage or are stuck chest deep in this obsession, here are a few pointers to hopefully help you out.

ps if you say you are not obsessed and immediately have to check your spreadsheet or  think of new methods straight after you read my blog...sorry bro.. you are.

To the therapy room ~

• First of all, like all problems like alcohol or gambling addiction, the most important step is to realize and admit that you are obsessed with early retirement. Only then can you see the full picture. Having this obsession for a short while is okay as it drives you to save more in the early stage. Dragging it out for too long is where this obsession gets unhealthy, not unlike any other obsession.

• Next, you will have to realize that after the initial stage of planning and savings, the small little obsessive tweaks here and there will at most shave a few days off your retirement. The time spent will not be worth it. You should instead be spending your time with your family. All you have to do is stick to your decided path and only tweak or tinker when you hit a major milestone or feel that your are drifting off your path.

•  Lastly, pick up as many new skills and hobbies as you can - inexpensive ones of course. There are 2 reasons for this pointer. The first would be that it takes your mind off constantly obsessing about early retirement. The second would be that these skills and hobbies are the things that will keep you occupied and your mind alert when you are finally into retirement.

There it is, my humble advice to you. I really hope it helps, however much or little.

My last parting advice would be to always share your plans, your feelings and even your obsessions with your family or spouse. I know its hard...as a guy to share his feelings..(Gals have no issue in this department..at least my wife doesn't - sometimes i think i should invent pills for verbal diarrhea).

Anyway, sharing will really bond you and take some burden off your shoulders. Remember that you are never truly alone. Family is forever.

As always, save more, spend less and invest wisely.
P.

My Arch-Nemesis... The Evil Sale Sign

Yeah you read it right, my biggest enemy are the brightly colored sales signs that are frekin everywhere. I myself am immune to them, but like all evil villains, they tend to attack those who are closest to you for they know that it is there that you can be hurt the most.

In my case, it's my wife, C. Sale signs really know how to do a number on her without her even realizing it..just like moths to flames. I wonder what this mad incessant need to hover to any sale sign is. It's a typical case of having to spend to save. I can understand if she has only a few pieces of clothing in her possession .. but as you can guess...she has a truckload full of clothes..not the small trucks you often see in Singapore but those large 18 wheeler kinds. I often joke that if i sell all her clothes, shoes and bags, I'll be a multi-millonaire.

I know you are waiting for the part where i give you advice on how to stop this zombie like madness...however, i am sorry to report that as of now, i do not have any remedy or cure.. we can only put up with the groaning and moaning of "Brainssssss..." oh wait, I meant "Saleeeeeee...." Only advice I can offer is not to allow them to gather into hordes.. for example, sisters, mothers and girlfriends. When this happens, bless your soul, there is no stopping the stampede of sale maddened zombie girls.

I hope that upon further research and psychological retraining on my test subject  evil dead   wife, i would be able to report back with a cure. Till then, stay alert and avert their eyes from the signs. I wish you all the best in your endeavor.

Over and Out.
P.

Compromising on differing financial and retirement goals in a relationship

Being married has taught me several things in life. To be patient, go give and seek nothing in return, to always try to find a compromise and most importantly, to always have to work and put in effort into something or someone that means everything to you.

Firstly, i would like to say that like many other couples out there, my relationship consists of a spender (A.K.A the wife) and a saver, me. More often than not, especially after reading books and blogs on being frugal, i would start preaching about the importance of being frugal to my wife, C. Which almost always leads to 3 different scenarios. A hardly convincing agreement, a roll of her eyes plus sneer combo and the worst... the I don't agree to this, we should spend what we earn as a reward conversation.

Through the years i have known her, i have learned to compromise and come up with tweaks to my obsessive saving habits so as to integrate her obsessive spending habits ( 100 Pairs of shoes and counting.."'Retail Therapy" she calls it... ) into my life. One of the very effective methods was the use of the bad mood fund or the B.M.F in short. I can't remember where i read this from but thank you whoever blogged about this.

What is this bad mood fund you might ask? Well, its a simple concept whereby we set aside a sum of money every month and deposit it into a separate savings account. It is left there to accumulate till THAT WOMAN my loving wife feels like spending it -  bad mood or not. This way, she does not feel that she is being restricted or bounded.

I feel that it is extremely important to communicate with your other half to get a feel of their views on both your financial and daily lives. Find out what they think of your views of financial planning and retirement while in turn finding out theirs.

The key is to be comfortable talking to each other about money as it can be an extremely touchy subject. Once you have laid out everything on the table, you can then decide how best to work things out and compromise so that everyone is happy.

I wish you all the best in your financial and daily lives with your loved one/s.

As Always.. Save more, spend less and invest wisely
P.