Firstly, i would like to say that like many other couples out there, my relationship consists of a spender (A.K.A the wife) and a saver, me. More often than not, especially after reading books and blogs on being frugal, i would start preaching about the importance of being frugal to my wife, C. Which almost always leads to 3 different scenarios. A hardly convincing agreement, a roll of her eyes plus sneer combo and the worst... the I don't agree to this, we should spend what we earn as a reward conversation.
Through the years i have known her, i have learned to compromise and come up with tweaks to my obsessive saving habits so as to integrate her obsessive spending habits ( 100 Pairs of shoes and counting.."'Retail Therapy" she calls it... ) into my life. One of the very effective methods was the use of the bad mood fund or the B.M.F in short. I can't remember where i read this from but thank you whoever blogged about this.
What is this bad mood fund you might ask? Well, its a simple concept whereby we set aside a sum of money every month and deposit it into a separate savings account. It is left there to accumulate till
I feel that it is extremely important to communicate with your other half to get a feel of their views on both your financial and daily lives. Find out what they think of your views of financial planning and retirement while in turn finding out theirs.
The key is to be comfortable talking to each other about money as it can be an extremely touchy subject. Once you have laid out everything on the table, you can then decide how best to work things out and compromise so that everyone is happy.
I wish you all the best in your financial and daily lives with your loved one/s.
As Always.. Save more, spend less and invest wisely
P.
Hi,
ReplyDeleteI've a clever way that sort of works for me. Instead of calling it savings, I redefine the term as 'spending'. SO, instead of saving the money, we 'spend it' on savings first, then after that we can spend it on other stuff.
Philosophically, both of you are spending a lot. Your wife spends on material stuff, while you spend it on savings. Both of you derive a certain satisfaction on spending the kind of things that you prefer. None is better than the other. On your wife's perspective, you are quite a spender on savings while she's frugal on savings. She has to compromise too! In other words, you're not much better off, LOL
If you can see it this way, then you've truly compromised because there is truly a meeting of the minds, so to speak.
Hi la papillion,
ReplyDeleteyou now have a new fan in my wife... She has always hated it when i say that she is the spender in our family..now you have given her a new point of view. She texted me to tell me that she fully agreed with your comment.
I can see where you are coming from. But the saving demon in me keeps on yelling: " SAVINGS GOOD!!! SPENDINGS BAD!!!" Haha..
Anyway, thanks for widening my point of view. Appreciate it.
Hi RSG,
ReplyDeleteHaha, I've got a new fan :)
We share ideas, and that's the point of writing blogs, really...My wife likes your idea of the Bad Mood Fund too ;)